I am who you persecute.

I don't know about you, but I look on the news and see all these acts of persecution to believers and to those weak in faith and to even those strong in faith it can seem very scary. But what I believe is less touched upon in the church, in the news media, and almost as a taboo between secular society and believers is that persecution to believers occurs everyday in the every day setting. Even within the walls of the church. Even among believer to believer. 

I know in my own life, it appears that the closer I walk with God and the more obedient I am to His purpose the more the people closest to me object. The enemy can use the people closest to us to distract us, hurt us, and do anything in his meek power to destroy God's plan for our lives. After all those closest to us know our strengths and weaknesses and the cuts are much deeper the closer you are in range.

This thought and reminder lead me to Acts 26 as I'm thinking about Saul. 

For Saul he considered himself a man upholding the law and became so legalistic that he lost sight of how a Christian should respond to others in Sin or even in obedience to what God had for them...just because it looked different than that of his expectation and what fit into his schema. 

Acts chapter 26, verses 12-15. 

"12 “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. 13 About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’

15 “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’

               “ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied.

 16 ‘Now get up and stand on your feet.I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. 17 I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them 18 to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’

I love these verses because I think if we are honest with ourselves we have each found ourselves down a road where we think we are following him and trying to "make things right" but we operate not from a relational perspective that values the person, but penalizes the person based on the sin. It has never been our position to penalize, but to Love. I love how Jesus comes to Saul and says basically "look you've been doing some pretty heavy persecution and I want to show you WHO EXACTLY you've been persecuting. When you persecute them, you are persecuting me. When they persecute you, they persecute me. I'm going to open your eyes and change your perspective. Life is not always black and white. Sometimes life is in the gray. So meet me there."

What I think we should all take away from this, author included, is that in our words, thoughts, and actions can become a means of persecution to those simply living out the will of God. When we find ourselves in positions where we can't see what they see or believe as they believe  we can find ourselves split by a divide used by the enemy. Our paths and walks in The Lord are specific to the individual. Yes we will share similar heartache, trials, and can ease these by encouragement. 

Just because we question it, or place judgement, or choose not to see doesn't mean that it is our position to place that on the individual...who may in fact ...when looking through the right lenses according to Christ be on the right track and by looking around and we just may find ourselves as the one lost and pointing fingers. 

 

Desperate Women

Hey there, so I wanted to share a recent devotion with you. It comes from the book of Mark , chapter 5. 

 I don't know about you but there are moments or even days where I feel emotionally and physically drained. I am in such a need of renewal. Like you, I'm caught in the grind of everyday trying to find joy in the bits and pieces of time I have to myself. It can be exhausting! And then...

Yeah, hear that,, that huge breath building in your chest. Let it out!

 Until I slow down and realize that my life doesn't have to be that complicated and that I need to take a closer look at what is trying to tie me down. No matter how good your intentions are if you schedule is zapping you, you need to zap your schedule. S.I.M.P.L.I.F.Y. 

The world is really good in convincing us that we need more events, more people, more things, and just more. In this chaos we lose the opportunity for still quiet time with God. For me this year has been a difficult year for me in terms of some things coming to an end and things in the works. I've been in a lot of growth this year and with growing come pains. Not the Kirk Cameron kind. 

So fix yourself some tea (sweet if your are southern) or coffee, and find a quiet place to check this out. This scripture really spoke to me.                                                          

    Mark 5:21-34

     When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell to his feet. He pleaded with him "My little girl is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live. So Jesus went with him. 
    A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and hand spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
       At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?" "You see all these people crowding against you", said his disciples, "and yet you ask Who touched me?" 

   But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and trembling with fear, told him the truth. 

       He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free from your suffering."

 Can we imagine a time in your life being so desperate that you would fight your way through a crowd as a sick woman of 12 years just to possibly see Jesus?

Desperate not for our own needs but just to be in the presence of Jesus.

STOP. REWIND. Let's check learn a little more about Jewish culture. Let's put things into context.

When this scripture was written, Jewish law prohibited women who were experiencing any bleeding whether menstrual or otherwise from leaving their homes. In fact they were considered UNCLEAN. Not just the woman considered UNCLEAN, but anything she TOUCHED. Her bed linens, towels,clothing, dishes, ...the hand she shook, the person who tried to give her comfort by a hug.....PEOPLE were all considered unclean. 

Do you see where I am going with this?

Put yourself in the shoes of this woman. You've been fighting a terrible blood disorder. You are bleeding uncontrollably. The people in your village have little to do with you because they would be considered UNCLEAN. You are basically an outcast. You are forgotten. Everyone goes on about their daily life. It sucks to be you. But hey, you are unclean so I'm not going to take that chance

Sound like anyone you know? There are people hurting but instead we drive by or change the TV channel. This isn't a new concept. 

She goes through 12 years of this. She is desperate. So you are this woman andyou hear that Jesus is coming to your village. You've heard all these miracles he has been performing around the area and the thought crosses your mind, maybe just maybe this could be your chance be healed, something..anything. ....

     You try to make your way out into the crowd. You are careful at first because you are still trying to obey Jewish law. You are trying not to touch anyone else for fear of making them unclean and they you. But you can't help it. There are too many people and your eye catches Jesus. There he is. You have to get to him. So what do you do? You push, twist, turn, and eventually crawl beneath a crowd that despises you and has mistreated you for the past 12 years. You can't possibly care about the judgement if others! Jesus is right there, He is there you can almost touch Him but the crowd continues to push! 

The closest thing to you is his cloak. 

Desperate. Hurting. Tired of the ridicule. Tired of the pain. Just wanting to feel normal again. Just wanting to feel love. 

YOU REACH. YOU TOUCH. 

     When you touch you experience a jolt. You feel the power of the Son of God. You are healed instantly. The bleeding has stopped! You feel it! Jesus is right there and you touched him! 

And then you realize, well if I felt it then he must have felt it too?  What do you do? Do you pretend like it wasn't you? 

You are healed now just go on about your business. He will never know it is you in this crowd right? 

And then Jesus says into the crowd. "WHO TOUCHED ME?" 

The crowd is quiet and everything stops. The disciples wonder who and what Jesus is talking about. You are crazy Jesus, this place is packed! How could you not feel someone touching you?! But then you can feel inside the healing that has happened to you and the only thing you can do, the only response you have is to fall at the feet of Jesus. You still aren't sure if you did the right thing, everyone is starring at you. You are busted. You've admitted it now. So you tell him the truth. "If only I could just touch you, maybe this would all go away." The place is silent. 

     Until you hear, "Daughter your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free from your suffering."

If you aren't crying now, nothing can help you but a good Hallmark movie! Come on. You've got Jesus in the middle of everybody fighting for his attention, you've got a woman in pain for over a decade DESPERATE who just wanted one touch. Someone to touch or to touch her after 12 years of no physical contact because of the label given to her because of Jewish law.

When have you been so DESPERATE for Jesus that you went against anyone and everyone in your circle or community against their advice their laws, their opinions and said.."I AM HURTING. I just need to touch him."  

 I say this to you as much as I am repeating it to myself. .......

Etch this on your hearts- God wants us to reach out. To seek Him above all things, above all people. You are unsure of life's next turn? Ok! Reach out.. You aren't sure about that relationship? No problem! Touch his cloak. 

The best part of this entire set of scripture to me is this, Mark 5:32 "But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it" To me it speaks to us about the heart of Jesus, he felt someone and whoever it was he was going to seek her out. "Who in this crowd just wanted to touch me?" Thinking I'm sure that there was something different about that touch, it came with pain and suffering. Whoever touched me had faith enough to reach out. 

Be desperate enough to reach.

About Kel

Hey hey! My name is Kelly Wheeler. I am a 30 something who has been living overseas in northeast China for the past 2 and a half years. I'm a teacher who came to know the Lord when I was just 13 years old in rural North Carolina. Since that time I have been doing short and long term service work in the United States of America, Mexico, China, and the Philippines. 

How'd I get into this? I keep asking myself the same question! I started out working with chronic and terminally ill kids in camping scenarios practicing Art Therapy with groups like UNC Children's Hospitals and the Paul Newman Serious Fun Camp, in Randleman NC with the Petty Racing family. My kids needed someone that understood how it is to go through life with radiation, chemotherapy, and still try to be a normal kid or teen. Yeah.. so God that was me. I was diagnosed with Leukemia before it was a common childhood cancer in the 80's and He brought me out swinging! 25 years as a survivor this July. Praise God. He used me in this form of ministry for 9 years before I officially gained my teaching license in college. 

        From there, it was off to work with At-Risk kids. Yep, this one was a doosy. Not expected but such a great gift! I quickly discovered these kids and I were cut from the same cloth. Tough cookies, experienced a lot early on in life and were like onions. ..you got to peel them back one layer at a time... and then you cry when you hear their stories. But in this God placed in the school people that for once they could count on. I am so thankful for these kids because without these experiences there is no way I would have been prepared for what came next.
       
       I moved on to work with elementary kids in grades Pre-K to 5th grades and they were like little balls of energy and I admit I loved it! Thank you God for stretching me and providing this experience. Later the Lord led me back to At-Risk kids with a neighboring high school near my hometown. This school was a tougher nut to crack. The following two years were with violent and aggressive gang kids ranging form 14-19 years of age. It was not that I knew my colors as an art teacher but I knew the colors, symbols, and gang banner that others chose to overlook. I began to see how many kids long for something, someone to belong to because there's no one else. They are taught to rely on themselves and you can't depend on anyone. 

      From this God pulled me into a higher position as an At-Risk Principal in inner city Minneapolis. The heart of the Somali East African drug ring. Did I say this was not part of the plan?... While working with my kids in Minnesota I was called to join a short term mission team to Puebla Mexico. At this point in my life I felt like I was burning the candle at both ends and was trying to stay true to the ministry of working with my kids in the Mini Apple (Minneapolis). Little did I know this trip would be the culmination of all of these short term trips and completely orbit me in a different direction.....

           So the deal was to go down and work with orphans with a partnering ministry and to do craft and game activities with Spanish speaking children from 2-14 years of age. My first out of country mission trip. From the beginning of this trip to the end I felt God tugging my heart and calling me to long term missions. This was exciting and paralyzing at the same time. Really me Lord? I'm not perfect, in fact my Christian walk can use some work...?  Each time in prayer I felt He was trying to direct me to long term missions by opening up conversations with missionaries in place there, or by developing relationships with the orphanage planters there, Id find myself putting something in front of it. But Lord I can't because... x y z. I felt Him planting His purpose in me, and I found myself making excuses for why I couldn't do it. 

        One day before we left we were working in the field and I stood up rather quickly and felt the earth move beneath me and I swayed slightly. Lol for a second I looked around at the others and thought "well maybe I just stood up too fast." But then others said" Hey did you feel that?" Each of us turned in the direction of the active volcano 2 miles from the orphanage as we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake. That afternoon we experienced 2 earthquakes. Unusual for that area. 

          We later went to a prayer service held by the staff at the orphanage where one man shared with our team these words. "Look, I don't know each of your, or your team that well, but I have to share that God has laid on my heart that just like He shook the earth today, He is going to use some of you when you go back and He is going to shake up your life... He is going to change you."   This was inspiring and encouraging but there were 30 of us and I had experienced my share of shakes so I was certain it wasn't me. That evening we went to the local church and shared in a Spanish only service. In the back translation room the main pastor kept coming into the room where we were all sitting listening to the translator. He entered as if he had something to say but was stumbling over his words and wasn't sure if it should have been said. We kind of looked at him and said just spit it out! lol. Then he said "You know I've been debating on whether I should say this, but I asked the Lord 3 times and He said yes. So here goes. I don't know who this is intended for, if it is for one person or several but I feel like I need to say that you are going to home and your life is going to be shaken, shaken up, you are going to be changed. God is going to do something in your life."   

            At this moment one might hope ..hmm I wonder if thats me? Am I that person? These are all valid thoughts that crossed my mind. But the other thought that crossed my mind was also... please Lord not me. Because I know that our version of "shaking up" is not His version and sometimes His ways we don't understand and they can come in a package of hardship. So my selfish, weak, human self said in that moment... "NOT IT! Tag one of these other people." That Saturday we flew back and I prayed that if it was His will that He would make it overly and abundantly clear for me to change directions. 

           That Monday I returned to work and my director announced that we would be closing the school. At that moment the only vision that came to mind were dominos I had placed before God and His hand just thumbing them over one by one. The obstacles I put before Him had been cleared. Because just 48 hours before this I had been wrestling in my heart and mind "But Lord, what about my kids at school, this is a ministry? What about this?". And cue the domino flipping over effortlessly. OK God I hear you.

       One week later I received a phone call from the International Schools of China asking me to pray about joining their team. 6 months later I made it to my city here in China. Yep this one is unexpected too. "Big shocker God. You keep doing this!"

Nurture with Truth